I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
