I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
