your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
