Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
