Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
God, I missed his penis.
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