Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
