Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
