yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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