we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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