You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
