Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
