I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
