Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I understand Curling. That high.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
