Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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