How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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