I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize