I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
