Dual....:-)
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
