Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
