Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No more Irish car bombs ever.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
