quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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