Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize