When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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