Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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