Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
