My sheets look like a crime scene.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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