she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
