so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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