I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
