Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize