Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
