Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
