Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize