How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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