I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
