My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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