And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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