i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
