wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
