i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
