Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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