you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
This baby is an asshole
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
