apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize