im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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