I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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