I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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