She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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