i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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