The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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