big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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