I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
