he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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