too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
