If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She tied me up with her honor cords...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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