My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
