Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
