Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
