Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
