Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
