before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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