how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
