so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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