You really coming over, don't trick.
My liver just broke up with me...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
