It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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