those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
