Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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