Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
