It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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