I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
